Mastering the Bidet: How to Use a Bidet Properly

Ever had that awkward moment?

Youโ€™re in a fancy restroom, face-to-face with a bidet, and youโ€™ve got no clue how it works.

You know, that porcelain wonder that promises fresh as a daisy feels.

But how? ๐Ÿ˜ต

Youโ€™re not alone!

Bidet bewilderment is pretty common.

Weโ€™ve all been there, scratching our heads, hoping not to flood the bathroom. ๐Ÿ˜…

Donโ€™t sweat.

Weโ€™ve got your back.

Todayโ€™s your lucky day โ€˜cause weโ€™re about to crack the code.

Get ready to conquer the bidet, my friend!

No more confusion, no more guesswork.

Just pure, hygienic bliss.

Trust us, once you get the hang of it, youโ€™ll be saying bye-bye to TP! ๐Ÿงป๐Ÿ‘‹

Letโ€™s get this party started, shall we? ๐Ÿฅณ

Bidet Basics

Bidets, those porcelain wonders, have been around for quite some time, and they’ve been the secret to that fresh-as-a-daisy feel for many across the globe.

Let’s dive into the basics of bidets, their origin, and the benefits they offer.

History and Origin

The term “bidet” originates from the French word for “little horse” due to the straddling position one adopts when using the original standalone bidets.

These devices have been popular in regions like France, Europe, the Middle East, and several Asian countries.

The primary purpose?

To offer a more hygienic solution post-toilet use.

While Americans are gradually warming up to the idea, bidets have been a staple in many households worldwide for years.

Benefits of Using Bidets

  • Hygienic Solution: Bidets provide a cleaner and more thorough cleaning experience compared to just using toilet paper. It’s like the difference between washing your hands with water and just wiping them with a dry cloth.
  • Eco-Friendly: Bidets are a win for Mother Earth. They reduce the need for toilet paper, which means fewer trees are cut down. Plus, with less toilet paper going down the drain, there’s a reduced risk of plumbing issues.
  • Comfort for All: For individuals with mobility issues, bidets can be a game-changer. They make the cleaning process easier and more comfortable.
  • Economical in the Long Run: While there’s an initial investment, bidets can save you money in the long run by reducing the need for toilet paper and flushable wipes.
  • Versatility: From high-end models with features like heated seats and air drying to basic ones that simply spray water, there’s a bidet for every preference and budget.

And… speaking of preferences, ever wondered about the different ways to use bidets?

Well, hold onto your seats (pun intended ๐Ÿ˜‰) because up next, we’re diving into the world of electric bidets and how to position yourself just right for that perfect cleanse! ๐Ÿšฟ๐Ÿ‘

Using an Electric Bidet

Electric bidets, those fancy thrones, are the future of bathroom hygiene.

They’re not just about spraying water; they’re about ensuring you feel fresh, clean, and pampered every time.

Let’s break it down, step by step. ๐Ÿšฟ๐Ÿ”Œ


First things first, positioning is key.

When you’re seated, ensure you’re centered on the bidet seat.

This ain’t just about comfort; it’s about making sure the water hits just the right spot.

Adjusting Settings

Now, onto the fun part – the settings!

Electric bidets often come with a side control panel or even a remote. ๐ŸŽฎ

  • Water Direction: Look for buttons labeled “wash”, “rear”, or “front”. Depending on the area you wanna clean, press the appropriate button.
  • Nozzle Position: Some bidets let you adjust the nozzle position. This ensures the water goes exactly where you want it. Precision is the name of the game here.
  • Temperature & Pressure: Feelin’ chilly? Adjust the water temperature. And if the water pressure feels like a gentle drizzle when you want a tropical storm, tweak it But always start low and work your way up.

Duration of Use

How long should you let the water run?

Well, it’s up to you.

Some folks like a quick 20-second rinse, while others prefer a full minute of cleansing.

Find your sweet spot and enjoy the experience. โณ

Using a Non-Electric Bidet

Alright, so you’ve got the lowdown on electric bidets.

But what if you’re faced with a non-electric bidet?

No worries!

We’re gonna walk you through it, step by step. ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฆ


When it comes to non-electric bidets, positioning is still the name of the game.

Just like its electric counterpart, you gotta make sure you’re seated right.

Center yourself on that bidet seat.

It’s not just about feeling comfy; it’s about ensuring the water does its job right.

Think of it as aiming for that bullseye! ๐ŸŽฏ

Adjusting Water Pressure and Temperature

Now, here’s where things get a tad different.

Non-electric bidets, like the Tushy Classic, usually come with a knob.

Twist that knob, and voila, water starts spraying.

But hey, go easy on that twist!

Start slow.

You don’t wanna be caught off guard with a water jet that feels like a fire hose. ๐Ÿš’๐Ÿ’จ

And speaking of water, let’s chat temperature.

Some non-electric bidets give you the option to choose between hot and cold.

Experiment a bit to find your sweet spot.

But a word to the wise: be cautious with hot water.

It’s great for a thorough clean, but you don’t wanna end up doing the hot water dance. ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ”ฅ

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “What if the pressure gets too intense?” Well, the good folks who make these bidets have thought of that.

The pressure can get strong, but it’s unlikely to cause any harm.

Still, always better to be safe than sorry, right?

And there you have it!

Using a non-electric bidet is a breeze once you get the hang of it.

And trust me, once you’ve experienced the clean and fresh feeling, you’ll be wondering how you ever went without it.

Using a Handheld Bidet Sprayer

Handheld bidet sprayers, often likened to the sprayers found in kitchens or gardens, offer a flexible and efficient way to maintain personal hygiene.

Let’s break down the steps to use one effectively. ๐Ÿšฟ๐Ÿค”

Handling the Sprayer

Grabbing the sprayer is pretty straightforward.

Think of it as a mini showerhead for your nether regions.

While still seated on the toilet, grasp the sprayer handle firmly.

Aim it towards the area you wish to cleanse.

Remember, it’s all about targeting the right spot for that ultimate clean feeling. ๐ŸŽฏ

Adjusting Water Pressure

The beauty of a handheld bidet sprayer is the control it offers.

By squeezing the handle, you release water.

The harder you squeeze, the stronger the water pressure.

But here’s a pro tip: always start with a gentle squeeze.

You can always increase the pressure as needed, but starting off too strong might give you a surprise you weren’t quite ready for!

Adjusting the water pressure ensures you get a thorough clean without any discomfort.

It’s all about finding that sweet spot between a gentle rinse and a powerful spray. ๐Ÿ’ฆโ†”๏ธ๐ŸŒช๏ธ

Using a Portable Bidet ๐Ÿšฟ๐Ÿ‘œ

Portable bidets, also known as travel bidets, are the ultimate companions for those who cherish the fresh feeling on the go.

Whether you’re traveling, camping, or just out and about, these handy devices ensure you never have to compromise on personal hygiene.

Let’s break down how to use one effectively.

Filling the Bottle ๐Ÿ’ง

Before you can enjoy the cleansing power of your portable bidet, you gotta fill it up.

Grab the bottle and fill it with warm water.

But hey, not too hot!

You’re aiming for a comfortable temperature that’ll give you a refreshing cleanse without any surprises.

Positioning and Squeezing ๐ŸŽฏ๐Ÿ’ฆ

Alright, you’ve got your bottle filled and you’re ready to roll.

After you’ve done your business, remain seated on the toilet.

Take the nozzle end of the bidet, position it towards the area you wanna clean, and give the bottle a gentle squeeze.

The water will flow, providing a thorough cleanse.

If you’re a bit on the larger side, you might need to lean a tad to one side to get the nozzle in the right spot.

And hey, don’t go squeezing too hard right off the bat.

Start gentle and adjust as needed.

It’s all about finding that perfect balance between pressure and comfort.

And there you have it!

Using a portable bidet is as easy as 1, 2, squeeze.

Once you’ve experienced the convenience and cleanliness it offers, you’ll be wondering how you ever roamed without one. ๐ŸŒโœˆ๏ธ

Using a Standalone Bidet

Standalone bidets, the OGs of the bidet world, have been gracing bathrooms long before their electric and non-electric counterparts.

They’re like the sophisticated grandparent of the bidet family, offering a traditional touch to modern hygiene.

Let’s break down how to master these ceramic classics. ๐Ÿบ๐Ÿ’ฆ

Positioning Over the Jet ๐ŸŽฏ

Alright, first up, positioning.

Unlike the bidets we’ve discussed so far, standalone bidets don’t come attached to your toilet.

They’re separate entities, usually sitting right next to your throne.

After you’ve done your business on the toilet, you’ll move over to the standalone bidet.

Now, here’s where it gets a tad fancy.

You can either sit on the bidet facing its fixtures (might need to ditch the pants for this) or away from them, just like you’d sit on a toilet.

The key?

Make sure you’re positioned right over the jet.

Think of it as finding the sweet spot on a saddle. ๐ŸŽ

Adjusting Water Temperature ๐ŸŒก๏ธ

Once you’re all settled in, it’s time to play with the water.

Standalone bidets usually have knobs that let you control the water temperature.

Start with cold water and slowly introduce the hot until you find a temperature that’s just right.

It’s like Goldilocks, but for your bum.

Remember, the goal is a refreshing cleanse, not a surprise sauna session.

Always be cautious, especially with hot water.

We’re aiming for clean, not cooked. ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ”ฅ

Conclusion: Bidet Mastery Unlocked! ๐Ÿšฟ๐Ÿ”“

Well, there you have it, folks!

From being dazed and confused in front of the porcelain throne to becoming the ultimate bidet boss.

We’ve journeyed through the annals of bidet history, navigated the waters of both electric and non-electric systems, and even conquered the portable and standalone realms.

Whether you’re home, traveling, or experiencing the elegance of a standalone bidet, you’re now armed with the knowledge to achieve that much-coveted fresh feel, anywhere and everywhere.

So, next time you face off with a bidet, strut in with confidence.

After all, you’ve got this down to a fine art.

Here’s to cleaner, greener, and supremely hygienic future bathroom encounters.

Happy spritzing, and say it with us: Bye-bye TP! ๐Ÿงป๐Ÿ‘‹๐ŸŒผ


What is the correct way to use a bidet?

The correct way to use a bidet is to sit or squat over it, ensuring you’re positioned over the jet. Adjust the water temperature to your preference and use the controls to spray the desired area. Once done, pat dry with toilet paper or a towel.

Do you use a bidet before or after wiping?

Typically, you use a bidet after wiping to ensure maximum cleanliness. However, some people prefer to use the bidet first and then wipe dry.

How should a female sit in a bidet?

A female should sit on the bidet with her legs spread apart for front cleaning. She can either face the bidet’s fixtures or sit as on a regular toilet, ensuring she’s positioned over the jet for effective cleaning.

Is bidet enough to clean?

Yes, a bidet provides a thorough cleanse using water. However, it’s recommended to pat dry with toilet paper or a towel after using the bidet for complete hygiene.

Steven Bosque

Dale Cogburn

Hi, Iโ€™m Dale Cogburn! Iโ€™m passionate about helping people get the most out of their bidets. Iโ€™m an expert on all things related to bidets, from installation and maintenance to product reviews. Iโ€™ve been using and researching bidets for over 10 years.

Recent Posts

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.